I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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