i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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