btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
