she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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