How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
