I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
