Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
