So drunk its hurt
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
