I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
