If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize