I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
