Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
