Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
