I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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