you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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