I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
