He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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