My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
