So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
