im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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