my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
