girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
