so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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