She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have feelings that need drinking.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
