Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
