Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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