Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
