I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
