you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
