oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I believe in your delicious
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
