I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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