One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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