i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
