You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
