where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
