You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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