DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
