I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
