i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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