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ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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