every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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