I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
