there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
