Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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