We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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