I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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