This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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