I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
