is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
