Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
