i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
