It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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