You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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