I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
