I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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