don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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