dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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