it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
