You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
