they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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