the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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