my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Never underestimate the power of titties
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